Fursat.. Idleness.. Loneliness.. Tanhayi..

Just a superficial similarity with the previous post, 'Kuch bhi nahi..' in terms of nothing at all 'to do' - Being Idle..

Idleness has a whole new definition for me these days.. not only owing to my staying at such a place where people have left long ago to be with their families & loved ones for the lovely holidays and beautiful Christmas season, but also because I won't be there - near mine. Nothing could be more appropriate to express this than the first two lines of the magnificent ghazal,

Tere baarey mein jab socha nahi tha,
Main tanha tha magar, itna nahin tha..

I won't deny the fact that I'm sad, but at the same time I'm not vulnerable, possibly because I was prepared for it. Although this is not the first time, but it is considerably different this time.

Loneliness (Tanhayi) has always been associated with gloominess & blue-ness. You might think there's hardly anything cheerful about it. Believe me, even I had the same misconception.. until the last week happened. Each day was attributed to dreaming and the nights were sleepless! (the latter part being always true for me, but for an unusual reason this time)
Again, can very well be expressed by this B.E.A.utiful song from the movie Zindaggi Rocks. Let me walk you through it..

Ek din fursat ne, thaame haath humare,
Le gayi uss dagar pe, jahan rehti hain baharein..

Chal diye hum bhi ghar se, hoke kuch befikar se,
Dil tha apne bharose, hum the dil ke sahare..

Untill here things are just perfect! :)
You dance, you skip..
You Fly, you Float..
You glide and you drift..

Then,
Raah mein mod aaya, raushani ho gayi kam,
Kuch dil ghabraya, ke kahan aa gaye hum..

Aage uss mod ke bhi, toh bahare nahi thi,
Bhooli kuch kwaishein aur, khwab the bas humare..

Believe me, this is when things really start to change..
You get Scared, you get Restless..
You get Disturbed, you get Surprised..
You get Anxious and you get Nervous..

Afterwards,
Bewajah lag rahi thi, jab talaash humari,
Ek khushbo uthi aur, rut badal gayi saari..

Saamne tum khade the, failaake baahein,
Jaise har dard mera, khud mein roke samaaye..

Pal bada mukhtasar tha, tere seene pe sar tha,
Yun laga mar na jaayein, itni khushiyon ke maare..

If you reach here.. you've won. This is where you cannot exercise any control and your feelings & emotional true self gets better of you! Everyone wants to end up this way, someday..

..and I stay here alone, waiting for my someday to arrive sooner!